In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I decided to squeeze in an additional blog post before tomorrow’s official V-Day post.
As the days have passed and as we’ve moved closer and closer to the holiday, many people have been sharing things that they want as gifts for Valentine’s Day or they’ve been sharing photos of the people that they love and why they love them. But there’s a common misconception about love and that’s that it’s a feeling.
See, many people think that the butterflies in the stomach, the constant appreciation for another person, the clenching of the chest… that that’s love.
And it isn’t.
It’s infatuation… it’s enamoration… it’s adoration. But it’s not “love”.
Love is an action word.
Love is a forehead kiss before parting ways. Love is a hug from a friend. Love is a “just thinking about you!” text. Love is rolling over, right before you go to sleep, and grabbing the hand next to you with a squeeze. Love is bedtime cuddles with the little one and reading “just one more” book even though you’re exhausted and you’ve read three already. Love is “text me when you get there safely.” Love is doing the dishes so that another person doesn’t have to. Love is cleaning off both cars in the morning. Love is late night conversations in the car. Love is making their favorite meal. Love is squeezing in a lunch date. Love is butterfly and Eskimo kisses with your mini.
Beyond this, love is the act of choosing someone even when they’re being unloveable. Love is holding someone fiercely while they cry. Love is communicating through the hard stuff, even when you’re not in the mood to. Love is supporting your children even when you don’t like what they’re doing. Love is not going to bed angry. Love is doing favors even when they don’t deserve it that day.
Every sentence has to have a verb in it. That’s a grammatical fact. When you tell someone “I love you.”, remember that. Love has to be the verb. Love has to be the action.
This Valentine’s Day, while you’re gifting one another and doting on one another and showering your loved ones with admiration and adoration, think of “Love” as an action. Not a feeling. Move forward in all of your relationships with this mindset. Am I choosing this person even when they’re being difficult? When I say “I love you”, are my actions supporting the claim?
Admiration is a feeling. Infatuation is a feeling. Love is an action and should always, always, ALWAYS be regarded as such.